Not as much as it would seem at first glance. For us, it began by me giving up my career that I thought I needed - thought I loved. We knew that having children was something huge - we never intended to have them unless we were willing to commit everything to raising them right. What is "right" when it comes to raising children? Well everybody has their own definition. What has worked for us and so many others whom we've observed has been to spend TIME, and I mean a lot of time, raising our kids. Common sense would say that kids don't just magically turn into caring, productive, successful adults - it takes a LOT of work and strategy for many years to get them to that point. Whoever says parents are not responsible when the kids turn 18, is in my opinion a little out of their mind. There is plenty of room for kids to make bad choices and even kids raised in the best circumstances sometimes make terrible decisions as adults. But what we hope is that they have the tools from their careful upbringing to recognize and change their ways before its too late.
For us the sacrfice is nothing compared to what we'd sacrifice if we didn't spend the time we are now developing their character and giving them structure. My field of work paid very well when I left it - yet we truly don't give a second thought to where we could be if we had the money we used to have. The thought of missing our children's first mistakes, their first questions, their first imitations of the people around them - in our minds there is no contest - the ramifications of not being there for those life shaping moments in our children's lives are far too great. The cost of having true happiness and family health can seem too high at first glance. For that reason many won't ever take the chance and find out that the cost is actually very little when compared to the enormous gain. So to all the humble housewives and mothers who choose to give this stage of their lives to their families - I would say thank you for sticking with it. Its not easy and apparently not highly esteemed by society at large - but one of the most critical jobs on the planet... in my humble opinion.
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A Few Of Our Best Travel Photos
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Herbert and Alana, the King and Queen of beautiful Hollis Farm in Kentucky.
This needs no caption, but David did a fine job setting up these night
compo...
14 years ago
1 comment:
I - like you - had a very promising career and a meteoric rise to success in a career that chose me. I got married in the middle of all of this, and we both agreed that the most important thing we would ever do was for me to be home to raise our children.
In the beginning, my husband hadn't been able to pursue a career using his God given aptitude - working with computers. To make a long story short...before he got laid off from two jobs in the wrong career field; we were able to buy "the" house; had three cars at one point (still a theme in our lives unfortunatley); we got pregnant (as planned); he got offered a once in a lifetime journeyman position in the "wrong" career which we agonizingly turned down; I quit my job after maternity leave; we sold the house before it went into foreclosure; we moved in with my parents; he tried several different careers and several things happened along the way.
At the time it was the hardest thing I ever did - my job made twice the salary that his did, with unlimited opportunities for more money abounding in that field. It seemed so simple - I could just leave my daughter with my Mother (or horror of all horrors - Day Care) and pick up a job at that salary anytime, anyplace and anywhere we lived. I remember a lot of tears, praying and agonizing over the decision to stay at home. I knew I was making the right decision but, it was so hard to stick to it. In the end a kind of peace settled over me (all God's doing I assure you) that the sacrifice I was making was the right choice. Now, 15 years later, I know with all my heart it was the right choice.
I have had to unlearn years of the best womans liberation garbage that school could cram into my young, innocent and highly impressionable mind. It has taken me years to learn my correct place in society, marriage and the church. I still don't have it perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, it is something I will always struggle with. It warms my heart and gives me the courage to fight my own battles, when I hear that you are fighting the same battles, and winning, with the constant flow of right choices and sacrifices as you pursue the correct goals in your life.
Your children are a wonderful testament to the time you both have invested in them. I am thrilled to have found a kindred spirit in the battle to reclaim our children and our lives from the pervasive lifestyle of our society! Go Jennifer!!
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